My planned post (tentatively titled "No, I Am Totally Correct About Marriage") has been temporarily shelved because of my household's Current Cat Tragedy.
And if there's one thing I know, it's that this world is full of things MUCH MUCH sadder than my old cat's peaceful, kind death. I know this. But it's my own current little tragedy and it's all my fault, no matter how gently intended, so I'm going to wallow just for this post and then I'll get back to ranting about Bad Ideas In Marriages Today or What The Eff Is Gwyneth Paltrow Feeding Her Poor Kids or My Hair: Why Do I Still Not Know What To Do With It or whatever other pressing matters I feel need attending.
Frank was from my parents' farm, heavier-boned than most of their cats and with a shy sweetness that set him apart from the usual brazen, bad-tempered farm cats who either begged for attention or were aloofly disdainful. He was - and I say this in the usual way of spurned lovers - special and so I loved him and that is my excuse. And I've written about him already with what I find an embarrassing frequency because HE WAS A CAT and I HAVE BECOME SOMEONE WHO WRITES ABOUT THEIR CAT.
"You are such a nice, nice boy, Frank," the gentle-eyed farm vet said to him, petting him. "It will all be okay." And then Frank died. It was a kindness.
We will get his body from the vet next month and bury him when the ground thaws and he will become this fixed spot in the past, receding away from me. And so I guess this is my formal goodbye to him, the last words I will ever write about him. He was just a cat, but he was MY cat and I'm pretty blue about him. The end.
Frank was a nice, nice boy, I know it. He was a special pet! But as a pet owner you need to take care of your pet, and that means knowing when it's time for him to go. Prolonging that and having him live out his life in pain is the wrong thing to do. You did the right thing, even if it is a sad thing. xoxo
ReplyDeleteRIP, Frank The Cat. I hope you are somewhere sunny and warm, eating buttons to your heart's content.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to start an online support group called "My Pet Died and I'm Shocked at the Depths of My Grief." It will be very popular and everyone will agree that prior to their pet's death they'd have mocked someone who felt like they currently do.
Now I'm going to read The Rainbow Bridge and cry and hate myself.
Ah, this makes me teary-eyed! Write about Frank all you want, from here on out. You loved him. Love counts for a lot. Person, animal, mineral, or whatever.
ReplyDeleteI can't think of the right words, but I like what Nan said. So I'll just say ditto to that, ok? It sucks. It always will. But we'll do it again anyway, because it's worth it. Because they aren't just a cat.
ReplyDeleteThis just makes me want to cry. He was a part of the family. Simple as that. And he will be missed.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. :(
I'll expect to see him again, wearing a vest, smoking his pipe with dignity. Cats like Frank are truly special. I'm so sorry for your loss and I don't think your grief is ridiculous at all. I grew up on a farm, and I know animals are animals. But sometimes they're not.
ReplyDeletePoor Frank. Poor you. X when Nan sets up her group I hope there is a 'rabbit' tab because I have a LOT of grief to outpour. X
ReplyDeleteVery sweet. You poor dear.
ReplyDeleteLosing a friend is always hard. Cat or otherwise.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you.
=)
Oh I'm so sorry. A friend is a friend even when they are four legged and covered in fur and their passing is brutal. Hugs to your family.
ReplyDeleteI wrote very sadly on facebook about our hamster who died after just a couple of months. Poor Penny died an ugly, tragic death and I was completely shocked at how shaken I was. We've got a twelve year old dog whom we've had since she was a pup, I'm terrified of how her end will affect our family!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I'm sorry for your loss Beck. Frank was a lovely friend.
cats are family. I highly recommend the book Cat Heaven by Cynthia Rylanst.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Not just a cat. I'm sorry, hon. I totally understand.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your recent tragedy concerning your cat. It is always sad to lose a loved pet and especially one that has become a part of your everyday life as well as your virtual life.
ReplyDelete