I am, a good friend informed me, SO WRONG. Channing Tatum IS terribly sexy, she assures me, but she likes blond jocks. And I am certain that he is a lovely man, in his own way, but if it was Beck Magazine, the Hot Men List would be different - darker haired men, for one, and more... oh, complicated and yet good-humoured and geeky and smarter and also with that certain special something that suggests to ME, at least, that they might like my sort (non-hale, non-hearty, endlessly talkative, fragile hypochondriacs. Who DOESN'T enjoy that?).
I am fully aware, in an aside, that these men are (for the most part) actors and that their public personas and their private lives might be disappointingly different. Don't know, don't care.
The People List, Graded
1. Channing Tatum - He's not, as I said, anything LIKE my type. But he's not a HORRIBLE choice either. B-.
2. Blake Shelton - He seems affable enough, and I like doting husbands, but he's once again NOT MY TYPE - too blond! Too outdoorsy! C+/B-.
3. Chris Hemsworth - Take everything I said about not wanting blond muscly guys and wanting dark haired smart complicated guys and throw them out the window because HUBBA HUBBA. Some good, kind human being made this video:
SWEET MERCIFUL HEAVENS.
WHY IS HE NOT THE SEXIEST MAN OF THE YEAR? This seems like a much more popular choice.
4. Max Greenfield.
That's certainly not a sexy photo, is it? There are better ones:
5. Ben Affleck
On the one hand, there was Argo and on the other he's aging SO well AND he's a doting dad and so I'm going to have to give him an A-, which I never would have done BEFORE.
6. Richard Gere.
7. Matt Bomer
Oh, sure. A-.
8. Oscar Pistorius
NO ATHLETES UNLESS THEIR NAME IS DAVID BECKHAM (he's all right.). B+.
9. Denzel Washington
A fine-looking man, yes. Hannah addressed the issue we all have with his permanent spot on the People List well, and I'll add another hopeful voice chirping for Idris Elba. B+ for Denzel.
10. Damien Lewis.
What? No. C-.
11. Paul Rudd
MERCIFUL HEAVENS YES. A+.
12. Bradley Cooper
A C+ for Bradley Cooper, Human Golden Retriever.
The Beck List, In No Order Whatsoever
(only when he's Sherlock Holmes, though, and certainly not when he's giving one of his myriad regrettable interviews. Shh, Benedict. Let me love you.)
Captain Hook on Once Upon A Time
Gael Garcia Bernal
This is such a good post. I think I might love it.
Did I miss anyone? Let me know!